Truth: You and I have an entirely different idea of what being 'poor' is.
POOR, isn't about whether you can buy a new car this year, or get a Starbucks coffee or have a dinner out this week,
no no uh uh, poor is about whether you can eat, or feed a pet, or keep your electricity on in a rental house.
Frankly I'm getting pretty tired of telling you about it.
I've actually been telling you about this for a long, loooong time. I don't claim poor in order to hustle you, m'kay? I am just hoping to educate,
and of course to vent a bit he he he.
See? I have Internet, so I can't really be poor, right? In fact, I used my Internet to beg for money, so I can't be that bad off and I'm probably just trying to cajole you into feeling sorry for me, right?
I should be ashamed. In fact, I am.
Read that again please, I AM ashamed
I have failed to live up to expectations, and it's probably all my fault for being either stupid, or lazy or just too stubbornly ignorant to succeed at the simple things. Like making money, owning stuff, driving nice cars, and setting up a serious Survival Plan (retirement) for my old age.
I honestly never expected that I'd live this long, and I never expected anyone else to be responsible for making it easy for me.
The weird part is that I was raised to be a nice average middle class Modern American Citizen, and I chose to buck that system. I wanted to be a farm girl, a horse trainer, and a Boonie Bunny instead of continuing my formal education. If I'd known then what I know now, I would have stayed in school on someone else's dime (my parents of course) and gotten a degree as a Veterinarian or a Lawyer- I think I would have been good in either profession.
Instead? I'm a damn good Field Medic, and a pretty good Jailhouse lawyer. Neither of those have made me any money. That's my rant today, serious Poverty.
I live on my SSI income. It's less than $700.00 per month. It's abetted by Arizona state Food Stamps, I get $77.00 a month of totally free food! My rent is $375.00, my utilities average another $150.00, and the miscellaneous dog food, chicken food, cat food, and household sundries run another $200.00 every month. 4 rolls of toilet paper, 1 roll of paper towels, 1 bottle of shampoo and 1 jug of laundry soap last me, since the cheap laundry soap can also double for dish soap or shampoo in a pinch.
Add in my tobacco and beer addictions, and try to come up with some extra $$ for gas, maintainence and insurance on the truck I got given for free, and I'm very very happy to put $20 in the gas tank, once a month. (Don't Go Fast- Make It Last)
It all adds up to Serious Poverty. With no easy out. ANY reportable income I can get from any outside job, is going to affect my SSI by lowering it the next month, or months, or years. Any minimum wage job I can get is going to cost me the loss of my SSI income for a comperable time period.., and any under-the-table side job I can do is going to cost me in physical wear-and-tear, I can do it, and WILL, but
I am kinda getting too old for this shit.
This is Poverty.
I'd save $65.00 a month if I didn't drink beer or smoke my home rollie cigarettes! I'd also be a lot more likely to just Nut Up.. and do something stupid.
Why? Because I've been living like this for a long long time, and I think the simple stuff like a mild beer buzz at home keeps me from chasing more satisfaction, you know?
I don't actually believe that I am stupid, but it sure looks that way from the Outside. I am paying too much rent for a seriously substandard place, but can I do better without hurting my landlords??
Probably. But I'd have to do it without my chickens, or their horse, that would suck.
I'm not starving, but I'm hungry, and I'm tired. I don't actually need food because I am very good at economical eating, but I am hungry. Hungry for connections with People.