I'm not much of a blogger anymore. It's not because I don't like to write, it's more like I think I manage to say all the trivial shit I ever want to say in facebook. Kinda like the rest of us, huh.
For 10 years I've been keeping this poor old computer busy stuffing it full of everything on my mind, at least the stuff that mattered to me enough to type it out and hit 'save' or 'publish.' I resurrected this blog after destroying it once just to put the things I DON"T want to say on facebook, but still wish to keep.
Maybe I just want some hard evidence of my writing to review later, much later.
Here's a picture of a really cute baby.
This is my grand daughter. She's looking mildly grouchy on the day that my Son married her mother 3 years ago. Her parents had been together for awhile, maybe a year before they married. She was 14 months old. I was invited to this wedding as an afterthought, but I was there.
Today I don't know where she is. I'm getting closer though, I just got off the phone FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME EVER with a lady from Child Protective Services who claims she is the Case Manager for my two grandchildren. (Yes; there is a second one that I don't really know very well yet, a boy named Daniel Jr who's a couple years younger.)
I've been trying to find them since last April when I found out for sure that their father, my son, was incarcerated and facing several years of hard time. I was told at that time that their mother, my son's wife, had released all parental rights to them.
I learned a LOT about this state's Child Protection Laws, and a lot of what I learned was so disheartening that it was damn near paralyzing to me. My son's wife just disappeared; not answering phone calls, texts, emails, or facebook enquiries from me.
This week I discover that she's still around somewhere since she's suddenly updating her facebook page. Not mentioning her children at all, but she does offer her friends my son's prison address..
Today I find out that both my grandchildren are being cared for by what Social Services calls Foster-Care Non-Related Kin. As the Case Manager explained to me, that means someone who knew these kids and had cared for them before. Not family.
She told me that the kids are healthy and growing, although my grand daughter has a full time Therapist to help her 'adjust' to all her trauma. I am scheduling a face-to-face interview with the Case Manager so that I may prove to her 1.) Who I am, and 2.) that I love these kids and wish to help them.
We need to discuss the pros and cons of possible supervised visitation from me.
Grandparents in this state don't have a lot of legal pull in the Child Services world. At least not without a lawyer,
and custody cases don't attract too many pro bono attorneys, yanno?
All Crap Aside, THIS FUCKING SUCKS!!! (I'm sorry Mom- NO I'M NOT!) Mom would have understood my pain and frustration and feelings of helplessness, and she would have told me
To suck it up, most likely. Fix the things you can, accept the things you can't or learn to ignore them.
I am just really really REALLY glad that I know of no one else in my family that's ever had to deal with this kind of situation.. it's so, so.. UNCIVILIZED, damnnit!
Please don't wonder why my facebook posts are so often frivolous, it's just me, staying sane.